fuck it

After all that "opening up," he reverted.

The funny thing is that I know see him in a different light.

I am gonna let go, and just keep it that way. If he comes around, I will be kind to him, because he was good to me in his own fucked up way.

but i don't think he will, because I texted him "Have a good one."

I meant it too.

I think i need solitude.
For at least a few weeks, LOL.

I have been thinking about the whole thing, but I think its like what my mom said (she is do wise!), where I was a little birdie all fucked up on the ground and he came by and found me. I am flying now, and he doesn't want to fly with me. Maybe he needs a new injured birdie.

I choose happiness.

And I am just gonna let go and go with the flow.
I am going to be happy and not be scared to new experience. I think I was hiding behind hector. He wasn't a "real" boyfriend, but he kept me from having one, if that makes any sense.

I choose to not be afraid, and to just go with it, and see what I pull in towards me, with my own peace, my own stillness, my own contentment.

i choose this.