Why Am I With Who I Am With Now, and Why I Was with With Who I Was With Before

Sorry, that was a ridiculous title, and I refuse to bother with editing today.

I was thinking about that law of attraction deal (no, I am not New Age or the like, but some of this "philosophy" is just good 'ole plain mental health and common sense). And what came to mind was how it could be applied to my realtionship choices.

What on earth was I thinking when I thought that the best thing for me was to sacrifice "my wants" with "what I thought was right." Basically, what I wanted was already assumed to be screwed-up, so just follow these rules: What counts is having someone who will just take care of everything, be a father to my kid, and to get as near to Leave-It-To-Beaver.

Don't get me wrong. I wanted to love. I wanted to please him and be ever so submissive in every department of wifehood. Perhaps the first 6-7 years, at least -- then the last 2-3, I unraveled into something else. And the last one I am blaming is my ex-husband.

I just see now, that I was in the time of my life where I was being super traditional and needing another "half" to myself. I wanted something so bad, that I took the first thing that came by and I became the little dog to my Alpha. I think the Alpha just really wanted a female, a sex-partner, and was willing to try to all the roles in the same way.

I think while I was with The Ex, I started secretly wishing. 0